But You're a Christian...

How many times have we heard, "but Christians are supposed to ________."? We can fill in the blank with anything. What people don't realize is that God wants us to love & care for one another but we are not called to be doormats. I have had to come to that realization myself on a few different levels. Before Christ I had no problem setting what I thought were healthy boundaries. I drew my lines far enough away so that I didn't get hurt. My thought pattern was if I don't get hurt then they have to be OK. Well after Christ my form of reference changed. If God is love then I have to be love. If God gave I have to be a giver. So how do I make healthy Christian boundaries? Well obviously the first step is to pray about it but the next is to go to the word.

2 Thessalonians 3:10 says, "For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: 'If a man will not work, he shall not eat.'" I work for a non-profit that funds agencies that provide human services. I am a call specialist so in the course of a day I listen to about 100 calls from people who are needing help with living expenses. I have to say that being in this position has definitely improved my prayer life. I pray all day, every day! Some of my prayers are for the callers, some of my prayers are for the agencies, and some of my prayers are for me. I don't want to get callus or judgemental in this position. I know that I can't see others' hearts. That is for God to sort out but I pray for my attitude daily.

I believe that sometimes bad things happen to good people & that we have to play the cards we are dealt. I also believe that a lot of what happens to us is by our own hands. Two words that are very important here are entitlement & accountability. Many of the people I talk to in a day feel that they are entitled to certain things not because of hard work or merit but because of what life has handed them. I know plenty of people that have been on the receiving end of bad stuff. At some point you have to say, "OK this stinks but here we go." Then you pick yourself up & dust yourself off. You quit blaming others for your lot in life & move toward a more positive situation. This is where accountability comes into play. We may not be responsible for all the things that come our way but we are definitely in charge of our response to those things.

So I guess the question here is how do we reconcile loving others & requiring responsible behavior. It is true that love can have many dimensions. Love can be compassionate, trusting, reverent, & many other things. We will get back to that in a minute. Scripture tells us that responsible behavior is expected from us by God. On that same note it also shows us that we, as fellow believers, are to expect this from one another. In Leviticus, yeah I said Leviticus, 19:15 is says, "'Do not pervert justice; do not show partiality to the poor or favoritism to the great, but judge your neighbor fairly.'" I know, I know you're thinking, "we aren't supposed to judge that's God job." I feel in this instance the meaning of the word judge is assess, not the general definition of deciding right or wrong. God will be the final & perfect judge but he does ask us to hold each other accountable. In Galatians 6 Paul wrote, "Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." A lie that Satan tells us is that when we hold each other to the standards set in the Word we are being judgemental. That is not the case at all. We are merely reminding our brothers & sisters of what God has already said to us. In that accountability we should also be encouraging. Hebrews 10:24 states, "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds." We need to build each other up & in doing that all parties will experience growth.

Now back to the love stuff. God's love is unconditional, yes. There is also a thing called tough love. Tough love is defined as an expression used when someone treats another person harshly or sternly with the intent to help them in the long run. In a sense God sets boundaries with us. Again, we can look to Hebrews 12:5-11 for the answer,

"And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons:
'My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son.'

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons.
For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone
undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we
have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more
should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a
little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share
in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however,
it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."

For God to treat us like his children is the most loving thing he can do for us. Considering He already gave himself completely to us on the cross. So if we are to love like Christ loves us then we too should set boundaries with one another. We should show our love by not letting people walk all over us. We should require responsible behavior from others. So when someone makes a remark about how a Christian should or should not act in a situation just remember we have the instruction book. If we are in the Word & in communion with Him then people questioning our responses or boundaries will be futile.