How Deep the Father's Love...

"An infinite God can give all of Himself to each of His children. He does not distribute Himself that each may have a part, but to each one He gives all of Himself as fully as if there were no others." - Tozer

Yes, I love how Tozer presents ideas that we already know but can't really verbalize. At least, I can't. How big is our God? So big that each and every one of us can experience Him fully without sharing. We as humans have to decide who we spend time with and when, how much time we want to invest in certain relationships, and how much time we want for ourselves. Our Father is not like that at all. How different would each of our lives be if we had our parents undevoted attention? If they didn't have to spread themselves between work, spouse, other children, and friends. I don't mean that to sound like God is at our beck & call. Just the opposite, He is everpresent but we don't call the shots. He is there because He wants to be, because He loves us so much. There is a quote from The Shack, "He would have done it even if it was just for me, but it wasn't." It's saying that what Jesus did here on earth and on the cross was for me and you and everyone. He would have done it even if it was only for me or you or Joe or whoever. He loves us so completely that He would have endured all of that for just one person. One person to be with Him in His Kingdom for eternity.

We spend our whole lives yearning for love an acceptance from a fallen and corrupt world. The perfect love we seek is available all along. We are too stubborn to accept it. We can do it by ourselves. Just like a baby that's learning how to dress themselves, "I can do it by myself" in a very exasperated tone. Eventually they realize the sleeve to the shirt is on the inside instead of the outside and they are tangled beyond belief. "Help!!!" finally escapes their lips. We as the adult are standing by waiting for that moment. We knew from the beginning of the dressing process that something like this would happen. We stood by silently waiting. When we help them do we say I told you so? Or do we, with love in our hearts, try to point out the fact that even when you know how sometimes you need help?

The love of our Father is complete for each of us. He loves each of His children to the utmost. We don't have to share His love because He is so big and so perfect. I am the apple of His eye. You are the apple of His eye. Neither one of us must experience a deminished amount of love when a new child is adopted into our family. That new brother or sister will be the apple of His eye.

This is not a concept that our human minds can wrap around. We aren't meant to understand all of these things. We are just meant to believe that they are so and trust our Father when He says it is. I am encouraged that the God of the universe, the Giver of Life, my Savior loves me more than anything else on earth!!! I am the best to Him.

That just blows my mind!!!!

love-affectionate concern for the well-being of others

A friend told a story last night about a young lady. A 15 year-old who left her home and walked to the interstate over-pass and jumped onto the interstate below. Why, you ask? She was sad because her sister died 2 years ago and she didn't have any friends and kids at school made fun of her for being overweight. How does this kind of thing happen? Who is responsible? What could have been done to prevent this tragedy? How can it be prevented in the future? These are all valid questions.

First, I would like to ask, who has ever felt like a situation is hopeless? I know I have. There are many times in my life when I was dissatisfied with aspects of my life. Whether it was my appearance, my level of popularity, my money situation, etc. I can look back now and I know that the real issue was the lack of Christ in my life. I can look at those same aspects of life now and though I may not be satisfied in them, I know that I am in HIM! All of the other things in my life are inconsequential to my relationship with my Savior. With God in my life there is always hope for me (us).

Did this young girl have a relationship with Christ? Did anyone in her school show her the hope they had inside them? Someone obviously showed her something but I guess it was not hope. Did she get help for dealing with the death of her sister? It's difficult in a family sometimes to see past your own pain to help another loved one. Was there not a teacher that noticed and tried to spend a little extra time with her?

When someone is lost in a fog of depression it is extremely difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe the kids at school that were "goofing" on her thought it was harmless fun. Maybe they didn't realize all the other stuff she had going on in her head. Maybe they did. Maybe they have a lack of Christ in their lives. That in and of itself lends to undesirable behavior. I have seen and heard people say and do things that are so mean spirited. I try to stop them or stand up for the other person but not always. What keeps me from doing it 100% of the time? Fear (that's for Ron) is the only answer. I don't want someone to call me a goody-goody or a kiss up. Or maybe I don't want to get involved because it isn't my business. But isn't it? When we make a commitment to our heavenly Father we say we accept all others as brothers and sisters. Does that not make it our business?

So who is responsible? That is not a question that can be answered. My prayer is that in this tragedy God receives all the glory and honor and praise. How can that happen? I cannot answer that question either. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

Can this sort of thing be prevented? Yes, we can do as Christ called us to do and love one another as He has loved us. When we see someone who is hurting we should pour out more love on them. Even if it is just you, that is the face of Christ for that person that day. Only we can change things by starting a change within ourselves. By allowing God to shape us and mold us into the likeness of Christ we can prevent young people from feeling that life is a hopeless mess. Christ through us can save them.

Winds of Change

"You cannot control the wind, but you can adjust your sails to get to where God has called you." Pastor Woody

God rocked my face off on the way to work this morning!!! It is so amazing what He has been speaking to me. Not only that but how evident He is making it. I had struggled for so long wondering what it was like to hear from God. Well I am experiencing it and whoa, I love it.

In the summer of 2008, while I was in Montana, I felt God call me to missions. I wasn't sure what that was supposed to look like, but I had a feeling it would be tied to Four Winds in some way. The quote above was actually written in a Bible in their chapel. When I spoke with Pastor Woody about it he told me he had written it years ago but he knew it was for me. I was going to widen my tent stakes and do great things. Then I went off the handle and tried to take over (like I always do) and God put on the skids. Not now, not yet, just wait, be patient. Patience, no thank you, I don't enjoy that just let me take this and run with it. No, God said, you must learn this lesson.

So many things have happened as of late that I can no longer wait. I feel that it is time to make a change. I was starting to feel like I was just making much of nothing. Maybe God was just telling me that the mission work I was doing with the church was all I needed to do. Then God started putting things together for me. Whether it be through scripture reading, sermons, fellow followers, other reading, etc. He is telling me it is time!!!

This morning I was listening to the radio and there was a lady on there talking about how God had laid something on her heart. She was saying that she just couldn't get away from the idea. Even though it was not anything she was familiar with or knew anything about. Then she was moving a dresser and found a book she had purchased 4 years earlier. She mentioned how odd that was because she would read her books as soon as she got them. She just flipped to a page and it was on the exact thing God was telling her to do. No other area of the book had any reference to this topic. What was the book you ask? Don't Waste Your Life by Piper. My breathe caught in my throat, chills all over my body, and tears streaming down my face. How many times has that book come up in conversation with me and my friends? How about that was and is the next book in my reading!!!

Last summer when God told me to go and buy painting and jewelry making supplies I thought, "Well I can't draw a stick man and the only jewelry I have ever made was crafts at camp, but if You say so." I didn't really know what would happen. Well nothing has happened really. I mean I have sold a few pieces here and there. I have made the money back that I spent on the materials, but nothing earth shattering. The closer I get to my mission trips for the summer the stronger my pull to make a change has become. And God is opening doors. I have 2 festivals that I will take my art to sell. We shall see what God has in store for those days. I am trusting in Him 100%. I will go where He sends me!!! I will do what is required.

Also, I think it was no accident that I got to become great friends with Patrick and his family. I feel that God is calling me to be a part of his ministry in Africa. I don't know what that will look like just yet, but I am trusting the Lord. I feel that God is leading me to complete my degree in counseling in a shorter time frame so that those talents can be used in different areas of missions.

We shall see. Please pray that I will remain obedient (even though most are doubtful I will succeed). I want nothing more than to live each day to the fullest extent of God's glory in whatever way He sees fit.

Praise the One who paid my debt and raised this life up from the DEAD!!!!

O the wonderful cross, Bids me come and die and find that I may truly live

For this Good Friday I was feeling lead to meditate on the stations of the cross. I figured I would share it with you. I know you probably have done this before and seen many variations, but this is what I feel lead to share. Please read station and corresponding verses then follow with the consideration listed for each one.

1. Jesus condemned to die-Matt. 27:15-26

Consider how Jesus, after having been scourged & crowned with thorns, was unjustly condemned by Pilate to die on the cross.

2. Soldiers mock Jesus-Matt. 27:27-31

Consider the amount of ridicule Jesus suffered from the soldiers, there were approximately 200 soldiers in a legion. Compare this to the ridicule we shy away from today.

3. Simon helps Jesus carry his cross-Luke 23:26

Consider how the soldiers, watching with each step, Jesus becoming weaker & fearing he would die before the ultimate torture & humiliation of the cross, forced Simon of Cyrene to assist him.

4. Jesus meets the women of Jerusalem-Luke 23:27-31

Consider how these women wept, with compassion, at the sight of Jesus, with blood streaming down his body, as he walked by them.

5. Jesus is stripped-Mark 15:22-24

Consider the force & violence which the soldiers employ to strip Jesus of his garment. The blood had started to dry making the garment stick to His raw flesh. As they ripped the fabric they also reopened wounds and tore more flesh.

6. Jesus nailed to the cross-Mark 15:25-32

Consider the pain of being beaten bloody & thrown onto a rough cut piece of lumber. Then imagine a spike driven through your hand and the other stretched to the point of dislocation before another spike is driven to hold it there. Then one foot placed on the other at an awkward unnatural angle to have a spike driven there. Then the cross is raised & dropped into a hole with a treacherous jolt.

7. Jesus crucified with criminals-Luke 23:32-33; 39-43

Consider the King of Kings, the Highest of High, hanging between 2 common criminals. He made himself nothing.

8. Jesus provides for his mother-John 19:25-27

Consider this, Jesus being fully God & fully human. Not only was He obedient to God even unto death, but also obedient to his earthly mother. As the oldest son, He made sure to provide for his mother by having John watch over her.

9. Holy of Holies is opened-Luke 23:44-46

Consider the moment of realization that comes over the people when the earth shakes, the sky darkens, & the veil is torn. The most sacred place was now revealed. What fear & trembling did they experience?

10. Jesus dies-John 19:28-30

Consider the sorrow of the crowd of believers, Jesus' family, & the Father because it had to be done.

11. Jesus taken down from the cross-Mark 15:42-45

Consider the fear, of Joseph of Arimathea, at having to ask Pilate for Christ's body. Imagine the care he gave in choosing & purchasing the cloth to wrap our Savior's body.

12. Jesus laid in the tomb-Luke 23:54-55

Consider the sorrow & pain that they experienced as they lay his body down. Imagine the sound of rolling the stone to the opening, like sealing a vault.

I'm not posting this to be preachy. I just want all the consider this day. We can't get to Sunday without going through Friday!

Beauty and Torture

Torture is the most extreme form of ill-treatment toward another person and can be both physical and psychological. It is the intentional infliction of pain and suffering used to intimidate, punish and obliterate the personality of the person (break their will). When we hear stories on the news about hostages being tortured we get angry or at the very least we are sad. Why is it then when we hear about the trial and crucifixion of our Savior we can just brush it off? We don't know those people personally nor are we acquainted with their family. Yet they, strangers, can elicit a response.

My Father sent his Son (Himself) to this earth to be beaten, kicked, spit on, ridiculed, and crucified for my sins because he loves me that much! Can I not strum up enough emotion to at least get a catch in my throat at the mention of His sacrifice? I know people, I consider very godly, who can't watch the Passion of the Christ or read a story about the suffering. They can't bear the thought of that happening to their Savior. But really don't we deserve the sorrow that comes with exposure to such content? That is only a fraction of what we deserve. We have been saved from an eternity in Hell. How torturous would that be? We can't fathom the extent. I will admit it is difficult to watch or hear because I know I am responsible for the death of the most precious being in my life. But I can rejoice in the fact that I have been saved and I will serve Him with all my heart until my heart caves in....

I say all of this because I am repeatedly reminded, even by other Christians, that worldly desire and accomplishments are far more important and desirable than following Christ. We want a nice house, car, job, beach house, clothes, makeup, hair stylist, tanning bed packages, spring break trips, the list is never ending. What are we willing to sacrifice for our Savior? He gave himself. Can we not do the same? Are our friends and stuff really that important in comparison to our eternity? Would I rather have material things here on earth than have my Father say, "well done!"? I am struggling with this in a major way right now. What would my life look like if I did live by faith. What would happen if I relied on God to provide my meals, insurance, livelihood? Well my friends we are about to find out!!!

I am super pumped about what God is doing in my life. And that He has given me the courage to follow Him, to trust Him in all things. Please pray for me and love me through this journey.

Hand in Hand

Accountability!!! How many other of my Christian brothers and sisters struggle with this topic? What does it look like to hold a fellow follower to God's standards? Do we have to be asked to be accountability partners? Are we supposed to call any follower out on their sin? Is this judging? What are we to do?

I know personally for me, I want my friends to call me out! It will be uncomfortable for me at first, I'm sure. I will probably get defensive and try to explain why I have done whatever it is. I don't like to be wrong (thank goodness I am very rarely-HA) so my pride is bound to be bruised. But you know what? I know that it is God's will for to practice accountability. He says so in His Word on several occasions. When He speaks it's important and if He repeats it you better know He does.

Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Gal. 6:1-2

This passage doesn't make it clear whether or not we need the person's permission to call them out, only that we have the Father's. I value one way more than the other. In 1 Corinthians 12 it talks about spiritual gifts and how we are all different. God gave us each gifts that we should use to glorify Him in the most high way. Just as our gifts differ we ourselves differ in purpose as the body of Christ. We are many parts. Is a foot's significance less because it's not a hand. A ear pointless because it isn't an eye. No, each part needs the other in order to function as a whole. God says there should be no division in the body, every part should have equal concern for the other, and if one part suffers all parts suffer.

So God calls us to hold each other accountable, lift each other up, and have equal concern for others as ourselves. Then in chapter 13 we are told that all these things are accomplished through LOVE! So we go back to one of the two most important commands. Do we love each other enough to call each other out? And when were are called out do we love each other enough to be mad at ourselves instead of the person trying to help?

We have to lift each other up. Satan wants us to feel alone and forsaken. Whether we feel alone in our sin or in our assisting a brother. He doesn't care. He's just glad to have the opportunity to use against us and our faith. When we are weak he can put all kinds of lies in our head that keep us from being obedient to God's call for accountability. They won't like me anymore. They are going to be mean to me or trash talk me.

How about we pray that our hearts will be open, our sins revealed, our hurts healed, and relationships restored?

When you're in love...

O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirst for more. I am painfully conscious of my need for further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, so that I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, "Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away." Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long.--AW Tozer, The Pursuit of God

I have never been one for gushy, sappy, romantic stuff. I never really played into my girl friends fantasies about a knight in shining armor or happily ever after. I had seen first hand what people can do to each other. Some have called me cynical, others a realist. I don't know what I am. I just really don't get terribly surprised when someones actions disappoint me. Now don't get me wrong. I want to find that love of a lifetime. Someone with whom to share this journey. But I think bells, whistles, and fireworks are just a tad bit unrealistic.

That being said...I have fallen head over heals in love with someone. I have never felt so full of life. He brings me flowers, writes me songs and love letters, protects me from meanies, lifts me up, lets me cry, holds my hand, and most of all accepts me for all that I am (and am not). I spent the better part of my life trying to get my worth from people around me (not a good idea, people will disappoint you and misuse this power). I no longer need others approval. I only need to be accepted and love by my one and only!!!

Who is this amazingly perfect someone? MY JESUS!!!! When I think about how much He loves me (even though He knows my heart, thoughts, everything) I am mystified. I mean He loves me so much that he gave up his place in heaven to come here. He came to a place where he knew he would be chastised, beaten, and killed. All because He love ME! In the book The Shack it says, "He would have done it even if it was just for me, but it wasn't." Like how crazy is that? These are the same hands that created the universe, put life into motion, carved the earth, and made me. Do I even realize what a big deal that is? Can I even comprehend that I have the greatest lover of all times?

All I do know is that He is on my mind constantly. I can't get enough! I want to read His Word, sing His praise, glorify His Name 24/7!!!

I never thought I could ever feel this way about anyone or anything. I'm so glad I do and hope I always will. I pray for diligence.